Alien (Revised)
by Golden Chains
Summary: The saying, "be the enemy," just got a whole new meaning. No romance. Rated T for safety.
1. Another Intro Of Sorts

A/N: Greetings old readers and new! This is the new and improved version of "Alien," a story requested by CleoDaDalek. I must apologize for the long wait. While working on an original story, I completely forgot about this one... Oof...

My first story was cringe worthy, but I have now removed pointless fillers, OCs, and hopefully improved the overall concept.

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim.

~X~

Beep beep beep!

Beep beep beep!

Beep beep beep!

The young boy groaned, turning around to unceremoniously slam his palm upon the button that would end the obnoxious beeping that tore from the speakers of his alarm clock. After an exhausting weekend filled with battles for the fate of the world, lasers, and goo, Dib was less than enthusiastic about going to school.

But, for the sake of mankind, he could not leave Zim unattended with so many innocent-and oftentimes obnoxious-children at his mercy. That is if the invader even possessed mercy. So he reluctantly crawled out of bed, eyes half mast, scythe hair ruffled and droopy and made his way into the bathroom.

After brushing his teeth and taming his hair, the teen scrounged up the nearest blue tee, pair of pants, and trench coat he could find. He could care less if they smelled or were slightly wrinkled. It's not like he was dressing to impress. That, and the epic battle with Zim last night prevented him from doing the laundry.

Saving the world was more important than chores, not that his father would care if he discovered his son neglecting his responsibilities.

So that's how Dib began his seemingly normal day, as normal as one can get being the outcast son of a famous scientist and whose sole mission in life was to expose the supernatural and paranormal to humanity.

And the day continued as it did almost every day.

After eating a hasty breakfast of the not-so-appetizing SuperToast, Dib headed to school with his scary little sister. He had learned after a few unpleasant beatings that Gaz was not a morning person, so he stayed silent the entirety of the walk listening to the music and sound effects coming from the other's Game Slave. Not that he would make conversation if he could, being so tired, but the cool morning breeze did help.

Once they arrived at the "educational" facility, he received his daily dose of abuse at the hands of brute bullies. The method of torture of the day was a painful wedgie from Torque Smacky, which had caused him to be late for class. On the plus side, the pain got him alert and ready to protect mankind.

Once he burst through the doors to Ms. Bitters room, he was disheveled and the butt end of quite a few chuckles.

"Dib," his teacher shouted, appearing before him in a cloud of darkness. Man, she was creepy! "You're late!"

"I'm sor-" he started.

"No excuses! If you are tarty one more time you will have to spend the day in the principal's office." Ms. Bitters warned, drawing out the end of 'office' with a serpentine hiss.

Dib shuttered and nodded. If he thought Ms. Bitters was scary, the principal was downright terrifying. The students suspected they ate the souls of any child unfortunate enough to be sent to their office. Poor Poonchy spent a month in the Crazy House for Boys after being sent to the principal for twenty minutes.

As Dib trudged to his desk, he spared a passing glare at Zim who only stuck his freakish tongue out at him.

And the rest of the day continued as such. Average. Ordinary. Normal. It wasn't until the final bell of the day rang at exactly 2:43 pm, a ridiculously random time (why not 2:40 or 2:45?), that Dib's odd adventure truly began.

~X~

A/N: Just like the original, the first chapter is uneventful and boring. Hooray for consistency! I really hope that this version is better than the first, because man that was a doozie! I'll be deleting that one soon so that it may never be seen again, thank God.


	2. The Next Evil Plan

A/N: You don't even want to know how bad my writer's block was for this chapter so I just copied and pasted part of the original story onto this chapter. Criticize me all you want.

~X~

Screams, children bursting from the windows, doors being torn off their hinges. These were all normal occurrences at the end of the day. Of course, Dib's end of the day routine was anything but normal.

His routine consisted of chasing a certain alien invader through the neighborhood, dodging cars, angry pedestrians, and the occasional swarm of bees.

"Foolish Dib!" Zim exclaimed, knocking over a trashcan in an attempted to stall his pursuer. Dib, being the prime example of human reflexes and agility, stumbled into the smelly pile of trash. Cringing in disgust, he sat up and removed a banana peel off of his head. He looked up just in time to see a pink and green blur dart around the corner.

Narrowing his eyes, he swiftly stood to his feet. Adrenaline fueled determination rushed through his veins. He was going to stop that alien! Today would be the day! Finally--

"Hey!" A voice called. Dib turned, confused and a bit frustrated only to come face-to-face with an irate homeowner. "Who do you think you are? Clean this up now, young man!"

Dib groaned.

He would have to pay Zim a visit later, but for now...

Ugh!

~X~

"Stupid alien," Dib muttered to himself, still a bit smelly from having to clean trash. He was picking the lock of the familiar men's bathroom door with a lock pick he bought off the internet. It really came in handy at times such as this.

After about a minute, the doorknob let out a satisfying click. Dib smirked victoriously as he made his way into the alien household. He walked through the living room only to be stopped by a high pitched, metallic voice.

"Big head, you back!" The disguised robot chirped before launching himself at the human to embrace him in a tight hug. "I missed you!"

"Hey Gir," the boy said, patting the android on the head. Dib had grown somewhat attached to Gir, despite his habit of being extremely annoying. But once one got past that obnoxious, metal surface they could see a little kid with everyone's best intentions at heart. "Where's Zim? Down in the lab?"

"Yep," the robot confirmed, dropping to the floor. "Master been there all day! He's so lonely down there!"

Gir proceeded to burst into tears at the thought of his superior's supposed "loneliness." Then as suddenly as the water works began they stopped as the android climbed onto the couch to continue watching the program airing on the television.

"Thanks Gir," Dib said as he began to walk away.

"I'm so good." The other droned to himself.

Dib could only chuckle as he made his way to the not-so-secret, underground base.

~X~

He found the extraterrestrial in the main lab where most of his evil schemes were constructed and eventually foiled by the big-headed boy. He was hunched over a massive computer that was connected to a large machine. The machine would have appeared doughnut shapes, if not for the small sliver that looked as though it was cut out. There were tubes that stuck out of the two exposed sides of the contraption emitting a peculiar blue glow barely visible to the boy. The tubes made the evil invention look like it was incomplete. Dib knew, however, that that opening was meant to do be there by the bullseye painted in between it.

He turned his attention back to the preoccupied invader.

Stepping from the shadows, Dib curled his hands into fists, opening him mouth to speak up.

"What are you up to this time, Space Boy?" Dib asked, causing the alien to spin around in surprise.

Zim quickly collected himself and smirked. "Ha! You can't do anything to stop me this time! With this ingenious device, I will be able to give myself amazing powers no Irken has ever had! I will be invincible! I AM ZIM!"

Dib felt a surge of adrenaline rush through his veins. Every time he fought Zim it felt as though they were the only ones in the world. Responsibilities and realities lost in their game, forgotten in the wind.

"Not if I have anything to say about it!" Dib cried, charging towards his enemy.

From the outside, it looked as though Dib had the upper hand. He was slightly taller and bigger than his puny enemy, but the alien had technology in his side making them at almost even odds of coming out on top.

In a flurry of colors, the human tackled his opponent to the ground. Zim released his spider legs in return taking a jab at the human, but Dib was too fast, having enough practice. Dib pushed himself to his feet and brought his boot down onto the Irken's squeedly spooch, or at least tried to for Zim rolled to the side, dodging the assault.

Zim jumped to his feet with the aid of his mechanical limbs, retracting the bottom two and raising the others threateningly.

The two enemies now stood face to face, glaring at one another with such hatred only they could share and understand.

"You can't defeat me, Dib! Computer, activate the machine!" Zim bellowed, before launching himself at the contraption's aperture, the tubes in which had begun to brighten.

"No!" Dib protested over the growing mechanical hum. He rushed towards his enemy, tackling him to the ground, the force of impact throwing them both to the floor.

And right onto the bullseye, in range of a potentially dangerous device, primed and ready to fire.

~X~

A/N: I think this story is cursed, guys. First Invader Pinn is unable to finish it(If you're reading this, I hope all is well), then it's given to me, then it turns out like trash, now my writer's block is becoming overwhelming.

Oh, well. This the curse of being an author. It cannot be avoided.


	3. A Brief Sensation

A/N: It's been over two months since I've updated this... Oof... Senioritis has been hitting me hard and I haven't even been working on my original stories. But I'm trying to get back into writing. Emphasis on trying.

~X~

Pain.

It consumed him. It burned him, like a gasoline fueled fire. Every cell within him screamed in agony. And for an instant, pain was all that was...

...and then nothing. But nothing wasn't the best way to describe the transpiring phenomenon. There was the district feeling of weightlessness and heaviness at the same time, and there was the feeling of nothing at all. He couldn't feel his hair brushing the back of his neck, the clothes resting on his body, or even his limbs, but there was that oxymoron of a sensation.

There was no thought. He didn't wonder what happened, what was going on. There was no memory. Not of his father, or Gaz, or Zim. He didn't even know his name.

Dib was nonexistent, but he was there all the same. He had a sense of self, a sense of being--if you will--but not of much else.

But, like the pain, it was only for an instant.

~X~

A/N: Once again, I have copied and pasted, but only because this chapter is amazing (at least in my opinion).


	4. Swapped

A/U: Ignore my constant copying and pasting, but don't ignore the fact that I updated the story twice in one night!

~X~

When he awoke, the first thing he noticed was that something was wrong. He didn't know what at first, so he just lied there--eyes closed--trying to pinpoint the issues.

His heart beat had dramatically accelerated. That was one thing, but he had no chest pain or shortness of breath that would accompany such a fast beat.

His clothes was softer, cooler. And was he wearing gloves?

He flexed his fingers. Why was he wearing gloves?

He opened his eyes and was stunned. Everything looked bigger. The machine around him appeared enormous! And there was someone behind him. He heard their calm breath and the rustle of clothes as the other briefly moved.

Zim.

He rolled over weakly, preparing to confront the Irken as best he could in this impaired and tired state. What had he done to him? What did that machine do?

He turned coming face to face with...

Himself?

What the hell?

He was unconscious, at least the other Dib was. He was also bigger than himself. Taller. He lay there, looking at himself, speechless, and effectively thoughtless.

Then the other Dib opened his eyes. Confusion was evident.

And they stared at one another, motionless, as if waiting for the other to move. The stare down was over quickly when the other Dib's eyes widened and he looked down at his hands in shock.

Curiosity peaked, the real Dib looked down at his own hands. His rapidly beating cardiac muscle beat ever faster at the sight. He idly wondered how he wasn't having a heart attack with such a fast pulse rate.

It took the boy little time to realize what was wrong.

His gloved hand had only three fingers.

Duel screams echoed throughout the alien base as the two entities discovered the function of the machine.

Sitting up, Dib tentatively lifted his hand up to his head. He jerked forward, gasping in surprise at the sudden, overwhelming, tingling sensation when his fingers brushed up against the perked antennae atop his head.

He lowered his hand and set his gaze upon his double who was also now sitting. "What happened?" He exclaimed. His hands flew to his mouth when the voice that came out of it was not his, but Zim's.

'Dear God,' he thought, 'I'm an alien!'

But worse than that, he was Zim and Zim was-

Oh for the sake of all things mysterious and spooky! Crazy, maniacal, evil, alien Zim was in his body! What horrors and damage the invader could evoke on him!

"You better get out of my body!" Dib screamed, stunned by how much he sounded like his host body. Even the sentence seemed like something the Irken would say.

He squeaked softly at the unfamiliar feeling of sensitive antennae folding back in hostility against his scalp.

"This is all your fault, Dib!" Zim sneered, Dib's voice coming out from his mouth. It was absolutely bizarre being addressed to by himself. "You stupid, meddling human."

"I would watch your mouth, Zim." Dib remarked. "You're the human now."

Zim growled, human eyes narrowed, at a loss for words. He shakily brought himself to his feet, unaccustomed to the sudden increase in height and weight. After stumbling about for several moments, Zim composed himself.

"Now what do we do?" Dib asked, standing up. Suddenly he tumbled backwards, the weight of "his" PAK almost sending him back to the ground. He managed to regain his footing and quickly adjusted to the machine on his spine. "Can you turn us back?"

"Of course I can!" Zim proclaimed. "What do you take me for? A fool!"

'Yes,' Dib thought bitterly, but thought better than to say anything aloud.

"I just have to recharge the device! Ingenious!" Zim turned to the control panel.

Only to find a gaping hole in the control panel and a certain robot eating its inner mechanisms.

"GIR!" Exclaimed a horrified Zim. "What are you doing? Have you gone mad!"

Gir giggled. "Maybe..." he droned shoving several wires in his mouth, slurping them up like spaghetti.

"Go watch that infernal monkey on the tee-vee!" The once extraterrestrial ordered, pointing in the direction of the elevator.

"Monkey!" The insane android cried, blasting off towards the lift, a trail of white smoke trailing behind him. The sound of metal screeching and electric crackling filled the air, before a heavy silence filled the room.

"Now what, Space-Boy?" Dib asked, more than a little annoyed at their current situation. "How long do you suppose this will take to fix?" The teen gestured towards the sparking hole in the control panel.

"I don't know!" Zim cried, peace skin flushed. "Computer," he turned to the ceiling. "How long will this mess take to clean up?"

"Approximately one month," The deep, faceless voice said. "Maybe more considering the current demand for the rarer parts."

"What!" Dib cried, antennae shooting up in alarm. He cringed at the feel of air rushing past the sensitive stalks. He would never get used to that. He swiftly composed himself. "Advanced alien technology, thousands of years ahead of mankind, and it takes over a month to fix a computer!"

"Listen you ignorant human," the computer suddenly snapped. "Shipping packages across the galaxy doesn't take a day. You humans take days to do the same thing across only a few miles."

"Whatever, jerk," Dib mumbled under his breath.

"Even though you are in my master's body, I am not afraid to hurt you."

"Do not damage my body or Zim will have you shut down!" Zim threatened.

"Grr," the computer grumbled. " Yes, sir."

Dib suddenly smirked. An evil smirk that didn't look out of place on his--Zim's--body. He had an idea. "Hey Zim!" He called, watching as the alien turned to face him, and then promptly poked himself in the eye. Not the best idea, for the pain was less than pleasant, but Zim's face was priceless. A humorous combination of horror and anger.

"Do not blind Zim you filthy human, or I'll cut off your arms!" Zim screamed, flailing his human arms to greater emphasize his threat.

"You better not, you alien scum!"

"I will!"

"Ugh!" Dib exclaimed.

"The Dib's trying to cough up my organs!"

"I'm not-" Dib sighed. "You know what. Threatening each other isn't going to help us get back to normal. I say we propose a truce. No fighting, no hurting each others bodies, and no plans to rule the world."

"Your crazy!" Zim accused. "I'm not going to let your filthy body get in the way of the mission!"

"Listen," the teen reasoned, "Once we get back to normal, the truce won't matter anymore. Unless you want me to go home and take pictures of myself to expose you..."

"Grr," Zim grumbled, eyebrows pinching together. "Fine."

Dib held out his three fingered hand. Reluctantly, Zim extended his own, human hand. They shook hands, starting a truce and an unforgettable journey.


End file.
